I've Got Tits, Yes I Do, I've Got Tits, How 'Bout You?

In my family, we have serious tits. And I don't mean 100 lb frame perky A-cup "demi" breasts. We have good, Italian DD+ cup tits that runnith over. Many women fear the Spring time bathing suit hunt. The ladies in my family fear the, "Damn. There's no denying it. I need a new bra" hunt.

It would be lovely to buy cute, frilly bras from Victoria's Secret or even the "intimate apparel" section of the local Macy's. Alas, our tits need more than two triangular pieces of fabric. Our tits need a heavy-duty battle gear.

Women who have tits know the trials and tribulations. It is not pretty: quadra-boob when cups size is too small, tits that ooze out the side of the bra so you can't keep your arms close to your sides, back bands that ride up into your shoulder blades, underwire the stab your tits or armpits, straps that either dig into your shoulders or constantly slide down your arms. And lets be honest here, when your tits are bigger than a C cup, they don't stay perky all that long. Hit about 21 and gravity takes its effect. Lets not even begin to mention that the hip mama's in our family breast-feed until the cows come home.. I mean, until the babies learn to roller skate. By the end of the day, your DD-cup tits have about as much support as Barack Obama in Stone Mountain, Georgia.

When ladies with tits DO find a "comfortable, supportive, and beautifully shaping" bra in the Granny Pantie section at JC Pennies, it is, shall we say, less than sexy. These Real Bras for Real Tits come in exactly three colors (black, white, and tan) and exactly two styles (polyester or "embroidered" polyester). There is no black lace over pink satin here. By the time a pair of real tits finds a real bra, style IS the last concern.

However, ladies with tits (and the ladies and gentlemen who love them) I think I have found the solution. SOMA INTIMATES (www.soma.com). Now, the Soma bras are not exactly the frilly Vicky's Secret hot and sexy lingerie. But, realistically, at the end of the day for women with tits, frilly lingerie only spends about 10 minutes on the body, the other 75 being spent on the floor (approximately 22 minutes for heterosexual women's undergarments). I digress... The bras at Soma appear almost too good to be true. The "Elena" boasts side-slings and a "budge-proof" silicone-lined bottom band. The Ashley- hidden-slings and "plush padded underwire." All this for $40 or less. Could this be too good to be true?

Ladies of my clan (who are the only ones who actually read this blog): they have stores nearby to Kansas City, one in Jacksonville, and one in Charlotte. I challenge you all to go try these seemingly perfect bras and report back. Have we found the perfect bra for our perfect tits?? You tell me!