All Gived Out

I'm exhausted of giving. I know it is the nature of living a justice seeking, conscientious, and sustainable life. But I'm all gived out....

1. On a very dreary and rainy Sunday morning, I stopped by the auto supply store to pick up new wiper blades. A gentleman, Michael, helped me pick out the right ones. I generally am weirded out by the "let me help the little lady" attitude when it comes to anything car or construction related, but Michael asked if I needed any help, and I accepted. He asked where I was headed and a ride in my general direction and a few blocks away. Of course I said I would, and we happily departed. On the 7 minute drive, Micheal repeatedly said to me, "Hey. I got 5 kids I'm trying to feed. I've been out here all day [9am] trying to get some work. Can you help me out?" I told Michael that I was sorry, but I just took a significant pay cut at my job and am barely making ends meet myself. "I'm happy to give you a ride, man, but that really is all I have to offer right now. Wish I would help you out more." Micheal continued to ask me for money, even promising he'd get my phone number and call me when he got a paycheck to pay me back. I dropped him off at his destination, and he said, "Well, I really need some money, but thanks baby girl for the ride." (Note: Apparently baby girl is the new slang reference for anyone with a vagina)

2. I have been working NON STOP at work. My signed job description makes me simply an educator. However, my actual responsibilities are educator, grant manager (almost 500K now), facilities upgrade planner and manual laborer, marketing director, the list goes on). I just got a pay cut (agency wide), and was told I'm probably not getting my 9K raise in January. It's hard and frustrating and exhausting, but this is life in a non-profit.

NOW... Months ago, I told Boss Man that Mom & Daddy were coming for a visit. They've only come to visit once before since I left the South in 2003 due to Dad's Parkinson's. Thus, I asked for Tuesday and Wednesday off. I offered to check e-mail a few times a day and be available by mobile phone for emergency. Boss Man told me that I didn't need to put in for formal time off, I could have the days. Last week I reminded Boss Man of my days off, and he told me just to flex the time (rather than taking PTO) since I am working mad hours for little pay. THE POINT: Today Boss Man told me he expected me to be on a conference call for two hours in the middle of the day Tuesday, needed to come out to the Admin Office 30 min away one of those days, and would have to have a variety of other conference calls and things done during that time.

I'm tired. I'm all gived out.